Sitting in the semi-dark of my living room, lamps dimly lighting the corners, my Powerbook warming my lap and lighting my face while Enya casts her epic spell from the stereo speakers, feels like a reward at the end of the day/week.
Every one in bed. A little just before sleep wisdom imparted to my daughter before sending her off. When we can, she gets ready for bed and I come in when she's all snuggled down, and I sit on the edge of her bed and we talk for a while. She told her High School classmates that she still enjoys getting tucked in by her parents, and they looked at her like she was off her rocker. That caught her off guard a little---she didn't realize, I guess, that this wasn't the norm for kids her age. But she does love it when we get to spend that end of day time with her, and I love that she loves it.
Leemur has finally quieted down. He was all motion and noise until I settled him in his bed, then the whimpers began. Not the normal "I don't want to go to sleep and the world is mean for making me" whimpers, but these new noises are rising out of the pain in his jaw where those teeth will be filled this coming week. I hope he holds out till we can get to the dentist. His brother had a night where the cavity broke through to the nerve, and he cried all that night in his sleep. We didn't know what we could do for him. That time, when the morning finally came, it was all over. The dentist who finally was able to fill it was amazed that Robo hadn't experienced more anguish. I was just completely thankful that we were all spared what the dentist described. I gave Leemur Jr. pain medicine and ice, and rubbed his back till he finally drifted off.
Leemur likes to have his backed rubbed. He's the only one of my kids who really keyed into that. That's something we share. When I was growing up a good back rub was like a mini Christmas every time it happened. Bliss. And my mom thankfully wasn't stingy about doing it. And not a firm back rub either, but feather light, with fingers barely touching. Sends me to heaven. In college I had a spell when I was very sick. My future wife came to my room where I was delirious on Nyquil and did the back rub then. For hours she tells me. I don't remember much, but I know that she helped profoundly. Now it's my turn to give this little gift. I'm glad it's something that I've found that I can give to the Leemur. I feel like we both struggle to find that connecting point. It's obvious that we both really want to connect with each other, and we're trying, but the back rub moves past the wanting onto the actually finding that gentle intersection.
Robo was off tonight to watch his mother's opening night tonight. She's in a two person show tonight called "Fourposter". The Fourposter of the title refers to the bed, which is what the play revolves around. The bedroom, really. It's set at the turn of the century and the device of the play is that we get to peek in and see the little dramas that go on between this husband and wife that take place in their bedroom. It's not any graphic "bedroom activity" but rather those arguments and discussions that a couple would want to have away from the kids and servants, so they occur in the bedroom. It goes from scene to scene tracking through their life from when they first move in as newlyweds to when they are leaving after their children have grown and moved away. It's a good script and my wife was very excited about it. And she invested herself in it to the point where she traveled the route of self doubt and dismay that we always seem walk whenever either of us do anything creatively. Both of us do that.
That's why we have the rule that "only one of us can go crazy at a time", meaning that only one of us can be investing ourselves in a project while the other one has the responsibility of being the cheerleader on the sidelines, trying to keep mental stability so no one decides to walk in front of a truck or anything. But now that opening night has happened, hopefully the sigh of just doing it will set in and she can get back to enjoying herself.
And both of us can get caught up on sleep.
Every one in bed. A little just before sleep wisdom imparted to my daughter before sending her off. When we can, she gets ready for bed and I come in when she's all snuggled down, and I sit on the edge of her bed and we talk for a while. She told her High School classmates that she still enjoys getting tucked in by her parents, and they looked at her like she was off her rocker. That caught her off guard a little---she didn't realize, I guess, that this wasn't the norm for kids her age. But she does love it when we get to spend that end of day time with her, and I love that she loves it.
Leemur has finally quieted down. He was all motion and noise until I settled him in his bed, then the whimpers began. Not the normal "I don't want to go to sleep and the world is mean for making me" whimpers, but these new noises are rising out of the pain in his jaw where those teeth will be filled this coming week. I hope he holds out till we can get to the dentist. His brother had a night where the cavity broke through to the nerve, and he cried all that night in his sleep. We didn't know what we could do for him. That time, when the morning finally came, it was all over. The dentist who finally was able to fill it was amazed that Robo hadn't experienced more anguish. I was just completely thankful that we were all spared what the dentist described. I gave Leemur Jr. pain medicine and ice, and rubbed his back till he finally drifted off.
Leemur likes to have his backed rubbed. He's the only one of my kids who really keyed into that. That's something we share. When I was growing up a good back rub was like a mini Christmas every time it happened. Bliss. And my mom thankfully wasn't stingy about doing it. And not a firm back rub either, but feather light, with fingers barely touching. Sends me to heaven. In college I had a spell when I was very sick. My future wife came to my room where I was delirious on Nyquil and did the back rub then. For hours she tells me. I don't remember much, but I know that she helped profoundly. Now it's my turn to give this little gift. I'm glad it's something that I've found that I can give to the Leemur. I feel like we both struggle to find that connecting point. It's obvious that we both really want to connect with each other, and we're trying, but the back rub moves past the wanting onto the actually finding that gentle intersection.
Robo was off tonight to watch his mother's opening night tonight. She's in a two person show tonight called "Fourposter". The Fourposter of the title refers to the bed, which is what the play revolves around. The bedroom, really. It's set at the turn of the century and the device of the play is that we get to peek in and see the little dramas that go on between this husband and wife that take place in their bedroom. It's not any graphic "bedroom activity" but rather those arguments and discussions that a couple would want to have away from the kids and servants, so they occur in the bedroom. It goes from scene to scene tracking through their life from when they first move in as newlyweds to when they are leaving after their children have grown and moved away. It's a good script and my wife was very excited about it. And she invested herself in it to the point where she traveled the route of self doubt and dismay that we always seem walk whenever either of us do anything creatively. Both of us do that.
That's why we have the rule that "only one of us can go crazy at a time", meaning that only one of us can be investing ourselves in a project while the other one has the responsibility of being the cheerleader on the sidelines, trying to keep mental stability so no one decides to walk in front of a truck or anything. But now that opening night has happened, hopefully the sigh of just doing it will set in and she can get back to enjoying herself.
And both of us can get caught up on sleep.
posted by Will at 8:59 PM
1 Comments:
ahhhhhh, the back rub thing . . . i totally totally understand . . . it's love made manifest, it's proof of Yes . . . so lovely . . . and really? it's the real reason i stayed with the cm as long as i did :)
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