Ok, ya got me.
I hate this day. April fools day. I'm such an easy target. And the thing is, I can tell it's coming. I feel the shift in attitude, the masked anticipation, the feeling that something just isn't quite right. But then I can never identify what it is before it clobbers me. Then I'm all, "oh, yeah, I should have guessed that was it".
This morning my daughter came into the bathroom while I was brushing my teeth to give me a nickel. A nickel? Why the heck are you giving me a nickel? Well, that would be because it's a fake nickel filled with water and it'll squirt you in the eye which will cause much giggling in both this room and the next (where the rest of the kids were waiting to hear if she was successful).
Bill, the neighbor boy in our carpool to the middle school, loves this holiday. He was armed to the hilt. It was his trick nickel in fact. He had pockets filled with stinkbombs too. That caused me concern. I wouldn't be such a good sport if one of those went off in my house or my car. But he assured me they wouldn't. And I wasn't accepting any candy from him today either.
But it was funny watching him this morning. All morning he'd flinch every time anyone came near him. And he moved through the room and through doors like something was going to get him at any minute. He knew what he might do, and he wasn't about to let it happen to him. He was so nervous, it was hilarious----like in the episode of MASH where they are going to play a joke on Hawkeye, but the joke is that there is no joke so just he goes crazy with anticipation.
I also fell for these online jokes too (Dang it):
Jobs to head Ikea, even monkeys wouldn't use Macs, and other gems
(I just read the first article in disbelief before someone pointed me to the original Register article. It's a little more obvious there.)
Tiger Woods signs long-term deal with Apple Computer as Mac OS X 'Tiger' spokesperson
I've only once ever executed a really good April Fools joke. That's not including the quarter I offered to Bill this morning. He jumped and flinched and wouldn't take it because he wouldn't believe me that it was a real quarter. It was. I had just reached in and took it out of my pocket from change I had gotten yesterday.
But one year when my daughter was 6 or 7 I woke her up for school on April 1st and told her to get dressed and come out for breakfast. Now, the night before, I had gone into her room after she had fallen asleep and took all the clothes off of her hangers in her closet and emptied out her dresser drawers. I took every stitch of clothing out and hid it all in another room. So after I woke her I went to the kitchen and waited for the ball to drop. Pretty soon, here she came. . .
"Dad, all my clothes are gone!"
I just looked over sleepily, like I wasn't in the mood and had a thousand other things on my mind.
"Sweety, stop fooling around. We need to get you ready for school or you're going to be late."
"But Dad, I'm not kidding."
"Honey, please. Go back and check again."
So she obediently tromped off. I stood there trying not to blow it. I could just picture her standing in the middle of her room, opening drawers and shaking her little head. Very quickly she was back.
"Dad! They're gone! Come see!" And the whole time she was just so totally astonished. It was hard to keep from cracking a smile, but I'm a theater major, I'm trained for this type of thing. That degree couldn't get me a job, but at least I could use those skills to plague my children.
When we got in there she ran around the room pulling open her drawers and her closet to prove to me this crazy thing that was happening. I put on my own best astonished face as she led me from point to point. When the room was finally torn apart and confusion reigned, I let this knowing smile pass across my face.
"Ooooooooooooooooh, I get it," I said to her, "you're playing an April Fools joke on me."
She totally wasn't expecting that.
"No, Dad. I'm not. Really. I don't know where my clothes are."
"Ok, very funny. That was a good one. You got me good. Now, no more fooling around. Let's get ready for school."
"But Dad. . . !"
"What?"
Ok, so then I gave in and showed her where the clothes were hidden. We all had a good laugh.
Oh, yeah. And Happy Birthday Apple. (That's not a joke. That's for real.)
This morning my daughter came into the bathroom while I was brushing my teeth to give me a nickel. A nickel? Why the heck are you giving me a nickel? Well, that would be because it's a fake nickel filled with water and it'll squirt you in the eye which will cause much giggling in both this room and the next (where the rest of the kids were waiting to hear if she was successful).
Bill, the neighbor boy in our carpool to the middle school, loves this holiday. He was armed to the hilt. It was his trick nickel in fact. He had pockets filled with stinkbombs too. That caused me concern. I wouldn't be such a good sport if one of those went off in my house or my car. But he assured me they wouldn't. And I wasn't accepting any candy from him today either.
But it was funny watching him this morning. All morning he'd flinch every time anyone came near him. And he moved through the room and through doors like something was going to get him at any minute. He knew what he might do, and he wasn't about to let it happen to him. He was so nervous, it was hilarious----like in the episode of MASH where they are going to play a joke on Hawkeye, but the joke is that there is no joke so just he goes crazy with anticipation.
I also fell for these online jokes too (Dang it):
Jobs to head Ikea, even monkeys wouldn't use Macs, and other gems
(I just read the first article in disbelief before someone pointed me to the original Register article. It's a little more obvious there.)
Tiger Woods signs long-term deal with Apple Computer as Mac OS X 'Tiger' spokesperson
I've only once ever executed a really good April Fools joke. That's not including the quarter I offered to Bill this morning. He jumped and flinched and wouldn't take it because he wouldn't believe me that it was a real quarter. It was. I had just reached in and took it out of my pocket from change I had gotten yesterday.
But one year when my daughter was 6 or 7 I woke her up for school on April 1st and told her to get dressed and come out for breakfast. Now, the night before, I had gone into her room after she had fallen asleep and took all the clothes off of her hangers in her closet and emptied out her dresser drawers. I took every stitch of clothing out and hid it all in another room. So after I woke her I went to the kitchen and waited for the ball to drop. Pretty soon, here she came. . .
"Dad, all my clothes are gone!"
I just looked over sleepily, like I wasn't in the mood and had a thousand other things on my mind.
"Sweety, stop fooling around. We need to get you ready for school or you're going to be late."
"But Dad, I'm not kidding."
"Honey, please. Go back and check again."
So she obediently tromped off. I stood there trying not to blow it. I could just picture her standing in the middle of her room, opening drawers and shaking her little head. Very quickly she was back.
"Dad! They're gone! Come see!" And the whole time she was just so totally astonished. It was hard to keep from cracking a smile, but I'm a theater major, I'm trained for this type of thing. That degree couldn't get me a job, but at least I could use those skills to plague my children.
When we got in there she ran around the room pulling open her drawers and her closet to prove to me this crazy thing that was happening. I put on my own best astonished face as she led me from point to point. When the room was finally torn apart and confusion reigned, I let this knowing smile pass across my face.
"Ooooooooooooooooh, I get it," I said to her, "you're playing an April Fools joke on me."
She totally wasn't expecting that.
"No, Dad. I'm not. Really. I don't know where my clothes are."
"Ok, very funny. That was a good one. You got me good. Now, no more fooling around. Let's get ready for school."
"But Dad. . . !"
"What?"
Ok, so then I gave in and showed her where the clothes were hidden. We all had a good laugh.
Oh, yeah. And Happy Birthday Apple. (That's not a joke. That's for real.)
posted by Will at 12:30 PM
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