What goes around. . .is coming

My Dad, my bro and me. Can you guess which one is me?

The other night I had a dream that my wife and I were living in the room in my parent's house where I slept as a kid. We had to go to some important get together and all I could find in the closets were trendy clothes from the 80s. I'd get dressed up in the outfits and my wife would insist I wasn't going out dressed in those clothes.

And I looked good too! (for 1985---think Andrew McCarthy's window dresser friend in the film "Mannequin" or Ducky from "Pretty in Pink").

Dude, one thing I can say for the 80s---I sure loved the clothes. And the hair. Yes, the hair. The other day Robo came to me to tell me, in honest astonishment and dismay, that he had seen a rock band where the members had hair as long as his sister! Now, I ask you, what is wrong with this world when the youth don't see the natural connection between hair and rock and roll?

I've had a problem with this for the past 10+ years. It's just not right when the artist and the agent and the guy at the record label all have the same haircut. How can you stick it to the man when you look like the man! It's time to bring the universe back into alignment.

You might be recoiling in disgust. And you might be screaming protest right now. I've heard it all before. I just consider those the noises associated with birthpains of the next phase.

Just like back in about 1995 when the preludes to the return of the hip-hugger and bell bottom jeans started coming. Everyone was so horrified at the thought. Bell bottoms were so disgusting---good riddance. Those will never come back. Well we know what happened to that sentiment.

Bell bottoms are now the fashion norm---again. Now days it's almost impossible for a woman to buy jeans that aren't bell bottom, or hip-hugger, or both. Now they are oh-so slick; a fashionable must have.

Kids aren't laughing at the 1970s year book photos, they're ironing their hair to make themselves look like those photos. And now is the beginning of the next wave---or should I say the New Wave (snicker-wink).

But it's not like I want to go back. Not a chance--I'm having too much fun right now. Consider: As a kid I wanted to run around with headphones on all the time like Johnny Slash on the early 80s show "Square Pegs" (does anyone remember that show, with teen age Sarah Jessica Parker). Except his headphones were plugged into a Walkman cassette player---how much cooler when I can run around with earbuds plugged into an iPod.

(At church we had a singer who was using a background track on cassette. I work the sound booth and so when it was time I popped in the tape and hit play---releasing the pre-roll tape hiss into the sanctuary. My daughter looked at me with a moments panic and asked "Is it supposed to be doing that?" Oh, yeah. That's what tape does. I said a silent prayer of thanks at that moment that we have been delivered from cassette tape. Hallelujah.)

I just want it to come back. It can't come soon enough for me. I haven't had any fun with clothes the last 15 years. In my opinion we're still reeling from the early 90s dumbing down of the wardrobe response to 80s excess. Thanks Seattle. Boring has been trendy for too long---especially for men. Oh look, what's new on the runway for men; a shirt. And slacks. Wooo-Hooo. I remember when my fondest fashion dream was to have Adam Ant's wardrobe. I've never quite outgrown that.

I remember a suit I had back in the day. White coat (yeah, with shoulder pads. When you have shoulders like mine you'll take all the help you can get), grey shirt with white poka-dots, white tie with grey poka-dots, and grey slacks with white pinstripes. Poka-dots with stripes---now that's rebellion at it's finest, I'm saying. Especially when you add colored Chucks. My dad was mortified when I showed up to an all city outdoor church service dressed like that. He thought I looked like I was in the circus. But mom had paid for all this stuff!

Of course, I don't have any of those diggs anymore. Not because I didn't try to save it. It's because all the 80s clothes were made as flimsy as possible and all ended up falling apart.

But dang it, I ask you, if a Dad can't go shopping with his sons for dangley saber tooth ear rings and teach them how to blow dry their hair upside down and braid their rat tails----then what's left?!!

Consider yourself warned. It's coming. Soon. Prepare. Start stocking up on hairspray.

And check this out. Yes, I do believe that this is a percursor for the apocalypse.