Has all that time passed already?
We staged the play this weekend for it’s one performance grand finale opener. More on that later.
We finished it up just in time to shower and spruce up and get gone to my wife’s 20 year High School reunion.
20. Years. Are you kidding me.
Nope. Not kidding. Our kids looked at us during dinner when we told that what we were going to like we could quite possibly drop dead at any moment we were so old. Then the questions about our pet dinosaurs and the pyramids started.
The wife wasn’t even quite sure that she wanted to go at first. But we both graduated from the same high school and I wanted to see people from her class as much I would for my own reunion, so I made up her mind for her. We were going. She didn’t protest too much. At least she had me to blame me if it didn’t go well.
She was very pleasantly surprised though. I think perhaps that she didn't want to go because she thought of the reunion in terms of the people who represented the class in the larger sense. The figureheads of the class; popular people, class government, star athletes---all the people who were photographed and became the “public image” of the high school at that time in the papers and yearbook. We never really had much in common with those people and it didn't seem inviting if that's all it was going to be.
But when we got there and started seeing people, she came alive remembering all the people we had shared time with--people who we lost track of in our memory as our thoughts got caught up in the needs of the now. She seemed to be having the same reaction to people that I was, perhaps even more so. Like a little light going off that says, “Now I remember, I’m glad to have known you! How are you?”
And people were amazingly all over the map. Back in the day we tended to be collected together in the crowd of outsiders. Some might call them (us) the nerds, geeks and freaks at the time—but we liked us, and for the most part we were to busy being what we were and liked being to be intimidated by what others may have thought we weren’t.
Now all the years later we came together again. Some of the math guys got to cash in on the tech bubble, but were not so entangled that they went down with the burst. There was the debate queen who attended fine colleges, made her way through the D.C. culture, met her love at Mardi Gras, was married in Manhattan and now is a freelance writer. One of the guys who just seemed to be a normal middle class Midwestern student had to come back from England for the reunion where he was involved in insect research at Oxford! Another friend ended up a professional magician. Then other’s were in the midst of a career change---one into the ministry, another we found out decided to be an airline pilot.
All these people had credentials that would have given them the collateral to put on airs, but wonderfully they didn't. They were all so great to be with and talk to. In a moment that typified what went on all night long, I found my wife speaking to a very statuesque cosmopolitan looking woman, and the both of them fondly remembering how they used to re-enact the Wizard of Oz in her grandparent’s basement as little kids. No pretension there.
I was told that the majority of no-shows were from people who were very local and could have easily attended. I wondered how many of them feared the stigma of not having achieved enough, or even having gotten away from the little town they swore they would leave and never look back.
Even I had a little bit of self inflicted comparison when I thought that I wasn’t where I expected to be at this point in my life. Then I thought how curious it was that the life that I’m loving so much was suddenly potentially inadequate in my own mind when placed in the “so what’s been up with you over the last 20 years” gallery. It was a thought that was thankfully fleeting under the genuine camaraderie of the people around us who really never for a moment made me feel like we were being measured-up.
In the end I think that every one was a little sad that the six hour party would be such a short time before we were spread out again all over the country/world. See you again in 10 years (a time that seems so long but will, in truth, probably pass in a wink).
We got home late but still lay in bed with all the night’s events buzzing in our heads. Thinking about all the people we hadn’t thought about in years. Thinking that we should have gotten email addresses and didn’t. Thinking that maybe we drank too much (even though we didn’t drink hardly anything, but it’s more than we normally do) and stayed out too late and would regret it in the morning. Thinking that every one there was almost 40, but for a night it was like we were all 18 again.
In a week I get together I get together with people to begin planning my 20 year reunion---class of '86. This was a good dress rehearsal for me. I can honestly say I am much more excited at the prospect than I was a week ago.
We finished it up just in time to shower and spruce up and get gone to my wife’s 20 year High School reunion.
20. Years. Are you kidding me.
Nope. Not kidding. Our kids looked at us during dinner when we told that what we were going to like we could quite possibly drop dead at any moment we were so old. Then the questions about our pet dinosaurs and the pyramids started.
The wife wasn’t even quite sure that she wanted to go at first. But we both graduated from the same high school and I wanted to see people from her class as much I would for my own reunion, so I made up her mind for her. We were going. She didn’t protest too much. At least she had me to blame me if it didn’t go well.
She was very pleasantly surprised though. I think perhaps that she didn't want to go because she thought of the reunion in terms of the people who represented the class in the larger sense. The figureheads of the class; popular people, class government, star athletes---all the people who were photographed and became the “public image” of the high school at that time in the papers and yearbook. We never really had much in common with those people and it didn't seem inviting if that's all it was going to be.
But when we got there and started seeing people, she came alive remembering all the people we had shared time with--people who we lost track of in our memory as our thoughts got caught up in the needs of the now. She seemed to be having the same reaction to people that I was, perhaps even more so. Like a little light going off that says, “Now I remember, I’m glad to have known you! How are you?”
And people were amazingly all over the map. Back in the day we tended to be collected together in the crowd of outsiders. Some might call them (us) the nerds, geeks and freaks at the time—but we liked us, and for the most part we were to busy being what we were and liked being to be intimidated by what others may have thought we weren’t.
Now all the years later we came together again. Some of the math guys got to cash in on the tech bubble, but were not so entangled that they went down with the burst. There was the debate queen who attended fine colleges, made her way through the D.C. culture, met her love at Mardi Gras, was married in Manhattan and now is a freelance writer. One of the guys who just seemed to be a normal middle class Midwestern student had to come back from England for the reunion where he was involved in insect research at Oxford! Another friend ended up a professional magician. Then other’s were in the midst of a career change---one into the ministry, another we found out decided to be an airline pilot.
All these people had credentials that would have given them the collateral to put on airs, but wonderfully they didn't. They were all so great to be with and talk to. In a moment that typified what went on all night long, I found my wife speaking to a very statuesque cosmopolitan looking woman, and the both of them fondly remembering how they used to re-enact the Wizard of Oz in her grandparent’s basement as little kids. No pretension there.
I was told that the majority of no-shows were from people who were very local and could have easily attended. I wondered how many of them feared the stigma of not having achieved enough, or even having gotten away from the little town they swore they would leave and never look back.
Even I had a little bit of self inflicted comparison when I thought that I wasn’t where I expected to be at this point in my life. Then I thought how curious it was that the life that I’m loving so much was suddenly potentially inadequate in my own mind when placed in the “so what’s been up with you over the last 20 years” gallery. It was a thought that was thankfully fleeting under the genuine camaraderie of the people around us who really never for a moment made me feel like we were being measured-up.
In the end I think that every one was a little sad that the six hour party would be such a short time before we were spread out again all over the country/world. See you again in 10 years (a time that seems so long but will, in truth, probably pass in a wink).
We got home late but still lay in bed with all the night’s events buzzing in our heads. Thinking about all the people we hadn’t thought about in years. Thinking that we should have gotten email addresses and didn’t. Thinking that maybe we drank too much (even though we didn’t drink hardly anything, but it’s more than we normally do) and stayed out too late and would regret it in the morning. Thinking that every one there was almost 40, but for a night it was like we were all 18 again.
In a week I get together I get together with people to begin planning my 20 year reunion---class of '86. This was a good dress rehearsal for me. I can honestly say I am much more excited at the prospect than I was a week ago.
posted by Will at 5:28 PM
3 Comments:
So glad it turned out to be so much better than you expected. I went to both my 10- and 20-year reunions. At the 10, being 18 didn't seem that far away. Many of us were still single and partying and goofy. But at the 20, there were plenty of changes...some of them physical!...as in, who's that paunchy, bald guy?...the star wrestler?! :) Hope you have just as good a time at yours.
Will--you've summed it all up so evocatively, and more on point than I ever could. There were so many people there whom I was genuinely delighted to see, and the ones who used to hold such power over my teenage sense of self-worth...didn't anymore. (Note to ranraniam: they still did, though to a lesser degree, at the ten-year reunion. It gets better.)
It was so wonderful to see you both again, though as you said there wasn't nearly enough time to do all the catching up we wanted. And I'm so glad to get a chance to check out pics of your great kids here, as that's one thing we didn't do Saturday night.
(That was you who beeped at us from the truck as we walked home from the parade Sunday, wasn't it?)
We'll be sure to call if we're in town again--and remember that the "just outside NYC B&B" is always open!
Love,
"The Debate Queen" (hee!)
. . . it sounds like a wonderful evening . . . and was so sweet to read . . . :)
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